Everyone knows the inscription. But Dante gave us no description of the gates of hell besides this. We have his description of the reaction to hell which is, perhaps, more telling.

Personally I think the gates of heaven and hell are simple things, meant more to keep people in than out.

Maybe hell is like a gated community and I wonder if there are codes of conduct for hell and will they suspend that manifesto for hell-inhabitants trying to go green?

Would Satan go green? You don’t think he would clash?

So, there was this article in Wired Magazine in the November 2008 issue (16.11) about food. You know: what we consume, why, how, the intricacies thereof. And there was the one part about how prisoners are suing (successful rate unknown) for cruel and unusual punishment when they've been served something called Nutraloaf. Not everyone receives Nutraloaf -- it's not the prison staple, it's just for special cases. They are suing because it supposedly tastes gross and looks worse. As part of a class, I was required to write a letter to the editor and Wired keeps its letters very short and usually pithy. So, here is my response.

So, let me get this straight: Nutraloaf (Features: The Future of Food, Issue 16.11) is “balanced for fat, protein, carbs, and vitamins,” (which is more than our homeless get) is cheap to make and safer for prison guards and inmates alike as it requires no utensils to be eaten. These prisoners are then suing for “cruel and unusual punishment” because it “tastes like cardboard, smells like rotten eggs, and looks like baked vomit.” It saves lives, it saves money, and the prisoners who are given Nutraloaf are those who will not behave. And by “behave,” I mean they won’t stop stabbing people with…what was it again? Oh, yeah, sharpened utensils.

Short and pithy, no?